Speed Dating Helped Me Gain Confidence

speed dating app

At the beginning of the year I said to myself that I really wished I was more confident as a person and that I would find it easier to interact with new people, and for a while I had toyed with the idea of going speed dating. Not specifically to find someone- although that would have been great- but to meet people and to be in a situation where I had to talk to strangers. So when Original Dating offered to send me a friend to one of their speed dating nights in London I couldn’t turn it down.

The way Original Dating works is slightly different to your standard speed dating. The night itself was fairly standard, you sit at a table with a number in front of you, a guy comes over and you speak for four minutes, then he moves on and the next man sits in front of you. Pretty standard stuff in the speed dating world. But it’s the technology side which is really clever. With their own app you sign up beforehand with your details and a photo of yourself, and after the event you can then go onto the app and rate the dates you had as whether you would see them again yes or no, or flag them as friend. This then allows you to see any matches and then message them to potentially arrange to meet again; slightly less awkward than a rushed conversation before you leave.

original dating

The location for our event was Black and Blue’s near Oxford Circus which is a lovely bar with some beautiful cocktails. I had some amazing passionate and peach cocktail and would happily go back there just for the drinks. In the smaller bar downstairs tables were lined up and I was terrified. Being made to speak to 14 new people and make small talk seemed like my idea of hell but this couldn’t be further away from how I felt afterwards.

On the night pretty much everyone I spoke to seemed nice enough, there are very few lulls in conversation, and in actual fact 4 minutes goes really quickly when you’re in the middle of conversation. The night flowed with ease- made even better by the host who had to shout out every four minutes, so I do feel sorry for this throat. The night made me realise I don’t have an issue talking to new people, it’s just the initial approach to go over to them.

Original Dating’s night was well run and a less daunting experience than I would have expected. Although I may not see any of the guys I met again it’s made me realise a lot of things including not to judge a book by their cover. There were a few guys at the event who I highly doubt if I was out I would chat to but actually were really nice and really fun.

They actually do speed dating pub mixed with a pub quiz which sounds like a right laugh so maybe that’s next on the list.

So girls – and guys – don’t be afraid to give it a go it’s actually a refreshing experience.

Have you tried online dating? Find out what I think about the process.

*Original dating sent me and a friend along to their speed dating event for free but all views are my own

April 24, 2015
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24 Comments

  • Reply Sarah-Louise Bailey

    I am so glad it helped you become more confident! What an awesome outcome from it and something really important as well.

    April 24, 2015 at 10:28 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      Thanks, I was really surprised about how easy the night was. It's made me realise that talking to new people doesn't need to be scary like I tell myself it will be.

      April 24, 2015 at 10:45 pm
  • Reply Penny Brailsford

    You're brave to give it a go – I'm such a chicken about meeting new people under any circumstances, let alone speed dating.

    Fortunately I have Bloke which means I am spared squirming on a date night hehe.

    April 24, 2015 at 10:31 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I was absolutely dreading it when we first entered, but it's surprising when you'e stuck in front of people how easy talking to them becomes.

      April 24, 2015 at 10:46 pm
  • Reply Face Up Beauty

    I think events like this are brilliant. Not everyone finds it easy to meet no people and a speed dating approach really helps to break the ice when doing that. I'm so pleased to hear that you had a good time. Tx

    April 25, 2015 at 5:17 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      Thanks. That was exactly my feeling about it, when you're just sat in front of someone you're forced to speak to them and it's less awkward than having to approach someone yourself. x

      April 26, 2015 at 5:36 am
  • Reply Jade Farrell

    This looks like a great concept, glad you enjoyed your self as i can see something like this as a very daunting thing to do! well done you
    xx

    April 25, 2015 at 6:33 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      Thanks! It was daunting before hand, but in all honesty everyone was nice and just wanted to meet new people too. Made me realise actually I can talk to new people which was nice 🙂

      April 26, 2015 at 5:36 am
  • Reply Laura Ferry

    So lovely to read that this helped you to become more confident. I've never been speed dating before but I think that it looks so much fun! I am very happily married so would never get the chance to go but i'd definitely recommend this to my friends xxx

    April 27, 2015 at 10:33 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      Thanks, it was a lot of fun. Definitely something i'm glad I did 🙂 x

      April 28, 2015 at 10:35 pm
  • Reply Rachel Simpson

    That's great that it has helped you with your confidence, I can see how it could be quite scary at first. It also sounds like a really fun thing to do! xo

    http://rachelnicole.co.uk/

    April 27, 2015 at 11:10 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I was so nervous beforehand because i'm generally quite a shy person. It was really fun, especially as me and my friend got to exchange notes afterwards! 🙂 x

      April 28, 2015 at 10:36 pm
  • Reply Laura Side Street

    I have to be honest I have never done speed dating but it does sound like a lot of fun and a great way to meet a lot of different people

    Laura x

    May 9, 2015 at 12:56 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      It was a great way to meet new people and I loved it much more than I thought I would. x

      May 12, 2015 at 1:06 pm
  • Reply JC Cross-Jones

    Its great that it helped you, but never something I've done, and I've been with my hubby since age 17, married for 5 years yesterday actually. Think its something my sis should do as she is 24 and never properly dated anyone! May suggest it!
    Two Hearts One Roof

    May 9, 2015 at 1:29 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      You should suggest it to her, it was a fun night and something totally different 🙂 x

      May 12, 2015 at 1:07 pm
  • Reply thestrawberryfountain

    sounds interesting. not sure I would be confident enough t do this but its great that its helped build up your confidence.

    May 10, 2015 at 3:21 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I didn't think I would be confident enough but I really surprised myself. I told myself I wanted to do something out of my comfort zone and I managed it x

      May 12, 2015 at 1:08 pm
  • Reply AlyssiaRose

    I could NOT do speed dating, I don't know why but I think I would find it really cringy… Also I have a boyfriend already so would be pretty pointless haha

    May 10, 2015 at 4:21 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I thought it would be cringey too but surprisingly it wasn't! x

      May 12, 2015 at 1:08 pm
  • Reply AliceMegan

    What a fab idea for increasing confidence! I bet you had lots of fun

    May 14, 2015 at 12:55 am
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      It really was fun, especially when me and my friend compared notes after 🙂 x

      May 14, 2015 at 10:23 pm
  • Reply Leesha Starr

    This is great, I've wanted to try speed dating but I'm too shy. I'm glad you've got more confident with it

    May 18, 2015 at 1:45 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I thought I was too but when you're forced to it's actually easier x

      September 8, 2015 at 2:46 pm

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