Earlier today I read an article published on The Richest entitled ’15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman’ and of course I clicked on it to have a read thinking it would be whimsical or interesting. In fact what resulted was more anger than I’ve felt in a long time. If you haven’t read the article you can read it here, but be prepared to feel really disgraced by the end both with the publication for publishing it but also with the author. The title itself is so generalizing as I am sure not ‘every guy’ thinks these things when dating a bigger woman, for the sake of everyone I hope they don’t! The original article is full of so many shitty sterotypes about larger girls and almost justifying why anyone would want to be with someone whose larger which is total bullshit. I am going to address all of the so called thoughts that guys have:
15. Your Date Is Tough- The article talks about guys wanting to nurture and take care of a girl but when you’re with a ‘plus sized’ girl she is tough and doesn’t need protecting which is complete bullshit. Regardless of your size anyone can be tough and independant and in the same breath everyone needs protecting once in a while, just because you have a few extra layers doesn’t mean you are manly or tough.
14. My Girl Can Cook- The article talks about the fact that most larger girls are that size because they like food and therefore can cook. Firstly yes larger people tend to be that way because they like eating, but for others it isn’t just because they can’t stop stuffing cake in their mouths. And being able to cook has nothing to do with size, just because you’re with us doesn’t mean we’re going to cook you homemade dinners everyday get off your arses and help us!
13. Calorie Counting Is Out- The article talks about the fact that if you’re larger then you don’t care about what you eat which is complete rubbish. Just because a girl might be larger doesn’t mean she is unhealthy and only wants to eat pizza every second of the day, we can eat fruit and salad as much as anyone else.
12. It Is Good For His Confidence- This one angers me so much as the article talks about ‘lot of times guys are not ready for the major leagues’ so to hit on larger girls who are more likely to say yes. Just because we’re larger doesn’t mean our standards are lower and we won’t just jump into bed with any guy who is willing to have us. And who cares about your confidence?! Everyone likes different types of people and a larger girl is just as desirable as anyone else.
11. He Might Like Them Better- The article states ‘so many people look at a guy with a plus-sized woman and feel kind of bad for him’ which in itself is an awful thought. Larger girls are just as beautiful as smaller girls and while everyone has a type, the way someone looks shouldn’t dictate anything. Yes physical attraction is important but larger girls are people too, we all have individual personalities and have qwerks and traits which make us all unique, interesting and great people that anyone would be lucky to be with.
10. They Are Easy To Talk To- How the bloody hell does the size of someone change how easy they are to talk to?! When you lose weight do you become instantly unapproachable or something?! I don’t know what to be more angry about the fact that smaller more ‘traditionally hot’ girls are percieved by this writer to have ‘never really learned the art of conversation’ or for the plus sized girls who are apparently used to ‘working their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws’. I have some friends who are deemed traditionally pretty and some who like me are larger and we’re all as approachable as one another and have mastered the art of conversation, clearly more so than the author of this article.
9. Picking A Place To Eat Is Easy- Just because we might be larger doesn’t mean we are ‘going to probably be willing to go pretty much anywhere’. One day we might fancy a large greasy burger but other times we might fancy going to do the Veggie restaurant that opened. Being larger doesn’t mean we’re suddenly going to give in to whatever you want.
8. The Cuddling Is The Best- While most of what this point says isn’t too degrading cuddles are just as enjoyable with anyone. Although the article does state ‘A plus-sized girl is going to tend to be happy for that sort of attention’, just f**k off right. Just because we’re larger doesn’t mean that we’re lacking in attention, or lacking in people wanting us so we’re just happy to accept cuddles from any man who is willing.
7. She Is A Built- In Workout Buddy- The article basically states that a smaller girl is likely to show you up when working out or be constantly out at the gym but a larger girl is going to be willing to try out your routine and make you look good. Just because a girl is larger doesn’t mean she is unhealthy and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t work out, plenty of larger girls work out, go on runs and lift weights. This is a terrible generalization and one I face all the time. Yes I might be larger but don’t look shocked when I say I work out and complete obstacle runs.
6. There Is Less Pressure On How You Look- This is complete and utter bollocks, some of the most fashionable and beautiful woman out there are deemed as ‘plus sized’. Once a girl hits a certain size or weight doesn’t mean she stops making an effort and doesn’t care what she looks like. We’re all individual and regardless of a girls size everyone wants to look their best.
5. Jealously Is A Thing Of The Past- Just because a girl is plus sized doesn’t mean that no one out there is going to eye her up or check her out. Jealously is natural and it’s all about trust in a relationship whether you’re a beautiful size 6, or a beautiful size 20.
4. They Tend To Be Funny- Much like the ‘easy to talk to point’ there isn’t a size/ weight limit which means that a girl suddenly becomes funny. This is an inherant part of peoples personalities, some girls are funny, some aren’t so funny, this has absolutely zero to do with size!
3. They Tend To Be Eager To Please- There is so much wrong with this statement! The article says larger girls ‘are often not used to being with a guy and are insecure about it’, who says we’re not used to being with a guy?! Our sex lives are just as fulfilling as smaller girls, and we’re just as likely to get a boyfriend as anyone else. This point also calls out that guys look past the ‘physical issues’, being large isn’t a f**king ‘issue’.
2. You Can Take Her Anywhere- As larger girls we have lives too and we’re not going to drop everything for a guy. You want to go somewhere and we’re free yeah cool we’ll go if we want to but we’re not going to follow you around like a lost puppy just because you’ve given us a chance to go out in public.
1. They Are Easy To Ask Out- The article basically says that other than the seemingly few guys who might actually be into plus sized girls the only reason we’re asked out is because we’re less likely to reject you. If you’re a nice person, we get on and find you interesting we’ll agree to go on a date regardless of your size, but if you’re a complete dickhead like the writer of this article we’ll still say no.
If you’ve managed to read this all then kudos to you!