Why Dating Is Getting Me Down

Why Dating Is Getting Me Down

Fellow bloggers will know what I mean when I say that every once in a while you feel the need to write an emotional article, something from the heart as opposed to talking about beauty products and countries I’ve visited (which is pretty much my whole blog). I’m not an overly emotional person, I’ve never cried during a movie or book and I struggle to cry during situations where it’s socially acceptable to, but I do get emotional for stupid reasons. As I’m sat here I wonder why I’m even sad, a long-term boyfriend hasn’t dumped me and I haven’t been cheated on by a partner so really I have no right to feel like this when so many others are going through shit.

But since when has dating become so hard?! I know app’s and social media make it easier to talk to anyone and everyone in the world but since when have people forgotten about caring about others emotions. I’ve not had any horrific dates like some I’ve read so I can’t really complain but let’s flash back a month or so to a date I went on with a guy I’d met on a dating app. We had loads to talk about beforehand, so much in common and while the date wasn’t the best ever I’d consider it a success. We still got on well, hours passed without us realizing as we wondered the streets of the local town holding hands and it ended in a kiss (or two…..) Flash back to the next day when he says he doesn’t want to see me again because he wasn’t attracted to me. Why kiss me then?! Fortunately, against all odds we’ve actually kept in touch but it just goes to show how rubbish I am at reading signals.

Flashback further to two particular dates I can think of off the top of my head, again guys I’d met on dating apps who I went for drinks with. Both went really well with no stops in the conversation and there was definite chemistry with at least one of them. After saying goodbye and making our way home I left communication that night but then the next day came along and still nothing. Now I’m not a the kind of girl who thinks the guy has to make every move so on both occasions I messaged saying I’d had a nice time, it was nice meeting them, if they’re up for it again just let me know, all the usual kinda stuff but I received nothing back. Zero. Zilch. Not even a “Nice to meet you too” then silence. To me that’s just plain rude.

What’s got me upset this time though feels different which is even more annoying. To cut a long story short I’d been friends with a guy for a while and recently we’d been talking non-stop progressing from normal messaging to flirty messages where we both admitted we’d felt a connection between us etc etc. We met up a few weeks ago and things went great, we had a lovely meetup (I’m not going to call it a date per say) and it ended up with us back at mine. We spoke straight after admitting that we both thought there was lots of chemistry, it was great blah blah blah. But in traditional fashion when you jump into bed with someone too early things seemed a bit odd the next day but he assured me that it was just him feeling shitty and nothing to do with me and that he definitely wanted to meet up again. Gullible me believed him.

Fast forward a few days and we’ve gone from talking all the damn time and flirting quite a lot to slightly stilted conversations which just don’t feel the same. After suggesting another meet up he seems less than keen and the fate of our potential disappears before it even began. While I have no real reason to feel upset it’s really got to me how much things can change in the course of a few days.

How do you deal with the things which get you down?


  1. July 29, 2016 / 6:25 am

    When I’m down I try and remember all the good things that I have in my life. It really uplifting and puts things into perspective.

  2. Joanna
    July 29, 2016 / 6:31 am

    When I feel down I try and stay positive and think of all the good things going on in my life.

  3. July 29, 2016 / 6:59 am

    I think technology sometimes makes dating that bit harder. We’re always waiting for that instant reply. It’s always super difficult when you’re friends before, but I hope he gets his head together and is in touch soon. Take a bubble bath, give yourself a pamper and get glammed up with the girls. xxx

  4. Francesca Nelson
    July 29, 2016 / 8:59 am

    Social media definitley doesn’t help sometimes! I feel like maybe sometimes it could be us reading into things to much whilst still wanting to remain cool and collected and not looking too interested! Maybe he is waiting for you to make the next move (even though he didn’t seem keen to a second date) sometimes its just good to be really upfront too, just ask him if something changed and see where it goes from there. Hope you feel better now!

  5. mummyandthechunks
    July 29, 2016 / 10:59 am

    Oh that sucks. I think social media actually doesn’t help as there is no mystery anymore. You can learn so much about a person without even talking to them. There is also the fact that if you message someone you KNOW they will have seen it and are not replying etc. I couldn’t imagine having to date again, back when I got with my partner we used to message on MSN and still had Myspace haha

  6. July 29, 2016 / 12:02 pm

    I think most people now days have become allergic to progressing things further with people, they just don’t want relationships and get scared when they feel like something is going somewhere. Maybe this is his case? I don’t know, but it’s pretty sucky that you feel the way you do. When I’m down in the dumps I watch TV shows as they are the only things I can actually cry at, it makes me feel better… It’s like I save all my emotions up for them! I would however just ask him outright what has changed and if he refuses to give you an answer cut him off. You’re better than that and you will find someone wonderful when you least expect it xx

  7. July 29, 2016 / 3:56 pm

    I feel for you, I really do. I have no doubt it can be an up and down situation with some hurts. I’m upset that one fellow didn’t even respond to your text though. Very rude.

  8. Cassandra Mayers
    July 29, 2016 / 5:30 pm

    Argh Dating is so hard. Im not sure on your age but does remind me of when i was around 18-25 and the men I dated were just big kids. If you are older than that then you have just shown me that men still haven’t grown up. I once got the phonecall where they pretend the guy has died to get out of seeing you again. Which is a harsh one. Totally understand where your coming from and been there myself. Just think of it this way, if they can be like that after one date, they aren’t worth any more time and are complete losers, imagine if these terrible guys had actually carried on seeing you? and you were dating these loosers! Much worse!
    But I never dealt the with the dating going bad in the way im telling you to, I got down about it and so i look back now and really wish I hadn’t spent so much of my energy getting upset over them because years later I found my prince charming anyway.

  9. July 29, 2016 / 7:30 pm

    Ah that sucks! I honestly don’t think I could handle dating again.

  10. July 29, 2016 / 8:35 pm

    Sorry to read this. And sorry you’ve been treated this way 🙁 Stay positive – a few people’s rude behaviour doesn’t define you x

  11. Melanie Edjourian
    July 29, 2016 / 9:01 pm

    I must say I am relieved I don’t need to worry about dating anymore, sorry to hear you didn’t have a good experience.

  12. fashion-mommy
    July 29, 2016 / 10:04 pm

    Sorry to hear this hasn’t worked out, but it is better to find out now what he’s like than to plod on and find out when your heart is even more involved.x

  13. Shannon Ritchie
    July 30, 2016 / 12:07 am

    Sorry you experienced that! I cheer myself up with a good chick flick and a glass of Pinot!

  14. July 30, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Sorry you’ve had a rough time with this! A couple of my friends at work also use dating apps and have had the same experience. Sending you all the love!


  15. July 30, 2016 / 10:59 am

    Sorry to hear about this. I cheer myself up by spending time with people that make me feel good. Or just take myself shopping.

  16. Hannah Heartss ❄️⛄️
    July 30, 2016 / 11:09 am

    Sorry to hear your having a bad time! I always try to make some time out and relax when things get my down – usually watch netflix x

  17. July 31, 2016 / 12:40 pm

    Oh hun 🙁 I have been in your position way too many times to count and it does suck. But come on look at you you are freaking gorgeous and any guy would be a fool to not like you. These guys sound like they were taking advantage and that is what I found when I went on internet dates. Sometimes there appears to be chemistry and then you hear nothing back. Pick yourself up and resume your search I hope you find a nice guy one day.

  18. Laura
    July 31, 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Oh hun this sounds awful. Before I met my husband I just had constant let downs and felt rubbish. The best thin I ever did was to stop looking xxx

  19. August 1, 2016 / 3:52 am

    Argh, that horrible awkward feeling – I remember that :-/ You would think that things like dating apps would make dating easier these days, but it seems not… I’ve got no advice, but I hope you’re feeling better about it soon

  20. August 1, 2016 / 12:57 pm

    Definitely feel and understand your pain, though this won’t make it better, they were not right for you and someone better will come along

  21. August 1, 2016 / 11:16 pm

    It’s definitely the guy’s who are in the wrong and seem dickish. Why pretend the date is going fine if they’re not going to call later? As Laura says, when you stop looking you often find what you need! <3

  22. August 2, 2016 / 9:22 pm

    I know it’s shitty but I always try to think of these types of situations like, at least you’ve found out the guy’s a bit of a knob now rather than six months or a year down the line… Still not nice, though!

    Jess xo | The Indigo Hours

    • August 3, 2016 / 4:14 pm

      That is a very good point, less time wasted x

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