Why It Is Okay To Not Want Children

It’s really rare for me to do posts like this on my blog but after a conversation I had with someone the other day I just felt like I had to write about it. Fellow bloggers will know the feeling when a post is just itching to come out.

It all stems from a conversation I had a week or so ago with a random women I didn’t really know that well. We were chatting about ourselves etc and she asked me how old I was, looking shocked when I said I was 26 (clearly my youthful looks haha). She asked quickly whether I was married, or had children and I replied saying No, I was a single girl living life to the fullest. When I said this it almost seemed like I had said something shocking and she quickly told me that I better get thinking as there’s only so many years a woman can have children for. By this point I was getting a little miffed, and when I told her that I didn’t think I wanted children she looked like I had taken a knife out and stabbed her in the heart and told me that this was a silly idea and it was a women’s duty to have children.

By this point, fortunately, my phone rang and I was able to run away from this vile women. But it got me thinking. Yes for some women the thought of having children is what they want most in the world, and I admire these women. People who want to bring a little human into the world, care for it for their whole lives and shower it with unconditional love. And yes people need to procreate in order to continue the human race, but not everyone wants the same things. I am happy to hold my hands up and say I am not maternal in the slightest, yes some babies are cute, and I do coo at the tiny little baby clothes as I walk through shops but that’s as far as it goes.

While I’d love to eventually meet someone who I am willing to spend the rest of my life with, and even get married, I don’t think my life would be any less full or fulfilled if I don’t have children. Firstly I am way too selfish, I want to spend my money on myself as opposed to spending money on nappies and baby food. I want to travel the world, experience new cultures and explore places which really wouldn’t be practical with a child. I love my sleep and me time way too much to have it interrupted. And I want a nice, sophisticated home which isn’t full of baby clutter and mess (although I admire the mothers who can keep a tidy home and have a child. How the hell do you do it?!)

In a world where women are told they can do what they want and be what they want, I think it’s perfectly okay to be able to not want what you want as well. Shouldn’t it be just as acceptable for a woman not to want a child as it is for those who do want them!?

November 5, 2016
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28 Comments

  • Reply La French Connection

    I really like this article, because that’s how I feel about kids and people who consider their opinion as an absolute and universally accepted truth and who wouldn’t take it seriously when you say that you don’t want children. I often hear “you’ll see, you’ll change your mind”. Well maybe, but maybe not! I don’t consider not wanting a child as selfish. Actually I believe it’s quite the opposite to be honest. When you involve someone else’s life to satisfy your little self, I find this more selfish than just spending your own money on yourself. But that’s only my opinion and I consider everyone should be able to make their own choice.

    Mika | http://www.la-french-connection.com

    November 6, 2016 at 6:57 pm
  • Reply Claire @ Country Mouse Claire

    It’s a thing every woman, and every person for that matter, should get to decide for themselves.

    November 6, 2016 at 7:11 pm
  • Reply Jade Bremner

    Everyone is different I always knew I wanted children and if I could afford too I would just be a stay at home mum and make sure the house is clean and the boyfriends clothes are ironed for work (I can’t iron). However I respect any decision a person makes and if that is not having children then that is perfectly fine, after all I believe that it is our bodies that tell us what we want x

    November 6, 2016 at 7:54 pm
  • Reply Lilinha Espindula

    We are all so different and I believe everyone has the right to decide what’s best for them!

    November 6, 2016 at 10:18 pm
  • Reply Candice Nikeia

    I read once that children cost about $700,000+ by the time they are 18. I pray I make that amount in the next 18 years lol. I think your decision is YOUR decision and no one should tell you differently. Thank you for sharing such a great post!

    xoxo, Candice Nikeia
    http://www.candicenikeia.com

    November 7, 2016 at 1:23 am
  • Reply Hannah Heartss ❄️⛄️

    I think what’s ever right for you personally is right x

    November 7, 2016 at 11:21 am
  • Reply Christine Dodd

    I didn’t have kids because it didn’t happen for me, but now, at 55, I have no regrets and have the funds to travel and please myself as there is no bank of mum and dad!

    November 7, 2016 at 3:14 pm
  • Reply Laura

    I think that whatever is right for the couple is right for the couple and that no one should feel pressured into having children xxx

    November 7, 2016 at 7:01 pm
  • Reply Melanie Edjourian

    I think we shouldn’t be judged for our choices. I have a friend and and neither her or her partner wanted kids although her views have changed since they got together 12 or so years ago.

    November 7, 2016 at 10:57 pm
  • Reply beautykinguk

    I dont think anyone should be judged for the choices they make, afterall you never know the circumstances behind that decision.

    November 8, 2016 at 10:21 am
  • Reply Stephanie Merry

    What a rude woman! A person’s choice whether to have children or not, is exactly that – their choice x

    November 8, 2016 at 10:33 am
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      Exactly! If someone wants kids, great. if someone doesn’t then that’s great too x

      November 8, 2016 at 12:51 pm
  • Reply Abracadabra Girl

    I had this reaction most of my life so annoying …..I was adamant I didn’t want children. But … at the age of 35 and I can’t describe it, hormones biological clock who knows — 9 months later I had my son k x

    November 8, 2016 at 1:36 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      That’s wonderful! Everyone is different and so many things can change your mind x

      November 8, 2016 at 3:25 pm
  • Reply Melissa Zia

    That’s a bit rude of her, it’s none of anyone’s business. Everyone is different

    November 8, 2016 at 8:01 pm
  • Reply Anosa

    I knew since I was young that if physically possible I want to have kids but if it doesnt happen I might consider adopting. I have friends like you who dont want to have kids and you know what that’s ok.
    Right now its not happening for me but thats ok too, I am still living a fun and happy filled life. Whilst kids would make it even more for me, without is also working out better than my brain could have forseen.
    Ignore that woman and focus on your happiness because honestly happiness is an inside job.

    November 9, 2016 at 8:06 am
  • Reply Nicol Wong

    everyone is entitled to have their own opinion and decisions without being judged. it’s your own life, you know yourself

    November 9, 2016 at 11:12 am
  • Reply Annie Brooks

    I am totally back and forth with this myself. Part of me wants the adventure but then I want to be spontaneous and you just can’t do that with kids.

    November 9, 2016 at 1:20 pm
  • Reply Dena Jayne

    It’s your personal choice whether you want children or not! xo

    November 9, 2016 at 6:51 pm
  • Reply sarah Lea

    It’s a personal choice whether you want children or not. Only you know. Honestly, it’s nothing to do with anyone else. Take no notice of what other people say/think xx

    November 9, 2016 at 8:14 pm
  • Reply Leah Shafik

    I love this post – this is how I feel. Me and my wife have been torturing ourselves thinking we should have children and have started adoption and fostering processes but each time, very early on, realised it’s not what we want and to stop feeling pressured. We have wonderful nieces and nephews and we are really happy just as we are x

    November 9, 2016 at 8:56 pm
  • Reply Ickle Pickle

    It is such a personal choice and no one else’s business at all. The trouble s, everyone thinks they can voice their opinion to everyone else! Kaz x

    November 9, 2016 at 9:04 pm
  • Reply Vicky Hallnewman

    Blah! I had a child at 37, women can have children at any age and I was more ready for a baby at 37 than I was at 21 or 22.

    November 9, 2016 at 9:09 pm
  • Reply Jess | The Indigo Hours

    This is such a personal issue and it’s beyond me why anyone thinks it’s okay to pass judgement on other people’s choices!

    November 9, 2016 at 10:17 pm
  • Reply Rachel Nicole

    I hate it when people are so judging of people’s personal choices. Everyone’s different and who knows what the future holds but everyone’s entitled to make their own decision! xo

    http://rachelnicole.co.uk/

    November 10, 2016 at 12:26 am
  • Reply Paula

    Oh my god, that women sounds awful! I’m also 26 and I’m not planing to have children in the near future! Unlike you I do want to have kids, I think they keep you company as well when you get old! But I do understand your points, and no one should tell you what to do 🙂

    November 11, 2016 at 9:28 pm
  • Reply Le Coin de Mel

    Oh gosh that woman does sound vile to say the least. Whether you want to be single, married or have children is your own business, not anybody else. Some people simply can’t help themselves and have to give you their views on everything and anything, don’t they?

    November 11, 2016 at 11:42 pm
  • Reply Beautyqueenuk

    I’m totally with you Hun, I get the same as I don’t have kids and people don’t take into account that not everyone can have them x

    November 15, 2016 at 6:37 pm
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