Light At The End Of The Tunnel In My Body Confidence Journey

Follow Your Heart

So many people suffer from a lack of body confidence and it doesn’t matter your size or shape this can affect anyone. My body confidence is due to my size. I used to talk all about weight but I’m not as fussed about the number of the scales, why you might ask, well it’s pretty simple really. I am now about 6-9 pounds heavier than I’ve ever been before but I am a smaller dress size than I was at my previous heaviest because I do exercise now, something I never did. I don’t mind if the scales say I weigh a lot if this is due to muscle, I’m more concerned about the shape and size of my body.

I managed to lose 4 and a half stone through Slimming World a number of years’ back and being a slimmer me gave me loads of confidence. I’d wear dresses I’d never dreamed of wearing before, I’d not worry about covering up all the time and I’d love having my photo taken. But an assortment of reasons including some holidays, a big Christmas celebration just spiraled out of control and I’m where I am now. When I first started putting back on the weight I hated looking in the mirror, I absolutely hated trying clothes on in a changing room and I’d feel out of place in a number of clothes stores which perhaps were not designed with me in mind.

I’d go on dates and sometimes even see the guys reactions to my size when they met me – even though I never lied about it on online dating profiles. I was even told by a guy I had been on a date with that he liked me as a person but didn’t like my size so he didn’t want to see me again. Things like this really made me hate myself more, and what’s the one thing a lot of people do when they feel shit?! Yes, eat.¬†I started back up trying to do Slimming World determined to get back where I wanted to be but for the past 12-18 months’ my heart just hasn’t been in it and I’ve just not seen progress.

I’d refuse to believe the size of clothes I needed and if a size 12 or 14 didn’t fit I would just think the item was destined to not be mine without trying on a larger size, I’d refuse to shop in ‘plus size’ sections of stores or use websites dedicated to awesome fashion for the slightly larger lady.

Thankfully during the later end of last year, I had a real look at my life and thought heck it’s actually pretty awesome. I have great friends who love me, I have a super amazing family, I travel loads, I have a good job, my own flat etc… and I thought how silly it was letting my size reflect my confidence so I tried to make changes, a little bit at a time. I then went on to meet a very special person who despite the things I hate about myself thinks I’m beautiful and sexy. Having someone who feels this way and tells you this is a huge boost in self-confidence. I was never one for ‘sexy’ lingerie before, I’d think no one wants to see me in something red and lacy, but this year I thought, f**k it, and bought something so out of my usual comfort zone.

Now so many doors have opened in regards to fashion, things I’d never have bought because the initial sizes didn’t fit are now available. Being a size 16 is actually pretty bloody awesome as in a whole host of stores you can fit into the largest standard items, or the smaller end of the plus size items so there’s so much choice. I bought the most amazing leather jacket from the Forever 21 Plus Size¬†selection which actually ended up being a 2XL but for once the letters and numbers on the label didn’t affect my choice to buy it.

I may not be the most confident person and I do still want to get back to a smaller size but until then I’m hating my body less and less as I go on.

How do you manage your body confidence?
March 25, 2017
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25 Comments

  • Reply Ana De Jesus

    This was beautifully put and I am so sorry to hear about the arse holes who made you question yourself. Let me tell you something, you are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with being a size 16. Regardless of what size you are you can still be beautiful and luckily you have found someone who loves you for who you are and that is all that matters. This really tugged on my heart strings because the thought of all those horrible men out there who made you doubt yourself really makes me angry at them x

    March 26, 2017 at 10:18 pm
  • Reply MyCityMyLondon

    Its good to get back to a smaller size for health reasons, and that should be your motivation:) Be confident in yourself, whatever size you are and never let anyone put you down

    http://www.mycitymylondon.me

    March 26, 2017 at 11:40 pm
  • Reply Nayna Kanabar

    As long as you eat healthy and exercise and your weight is not causing you any health issues you should be confident in the way you look. Ignore mean remarks some people can’t see inner beauty.

    March 27, 2017 at 8:29 am
  • Reply Ali

    I’m so glad that you are learning to love your body. A size 16 really isn’t big. As long as you are happy and healthy that’s all that matters xx

    March 27, 2017 at 8:30 am
  • Reply Stephanie Merry

    Well done on learning to love your body – I’m not quite there yet but I am working on it x

    March 27, 2017 at 9:53 am
  • Reply fashion-mommy

    Self love is so important, it is good that you now can love and accept your body.

    March 27, 2017 at 11:31 am
  • Reply Shannon Bryson

    I wrote a post myself about this. I HATED wearing shorts because I hated my legs. I hated how big I would have to buy shorts so that they were loose and comfortable. I mentally slapped myself and realised that your comfort and how you feel in clothes matters more than the size, hence i titled that post Comfort Confidence.

    March 27, 2017 at 12:42 pm
  • Reply Mummy's Monkey

    I have days where I hate how I look and days where I think I look amazing. It’s not really to do with the numbers though. I have no idea how much I weigh and I’ve got clothes from size 8-16 that all fit. For me it’s all about how I’m feeling generally. If I l feel good, I look good.
    Well done on learning to love yourself

    March 27, 2017 at 1:41 pm
  • Reply Joanna

    I wish I had a lot more body confidence I did feel more confident when I was slimmer but put all the weight I’d lost back on after having my son. I think I definitely need to be more positive when it comes to my body and start accepting the way it looks.

    March 27, 2017 at 5:39 pm
  • Reply Jo Wiggins

    Wow, that guy on the dating site sounds like a idiot! I never step on the scales, I go by how I feel in my clothes x

    March 27, 2017 at 5:55 pm
  • Reply Helen Clark

    It’s great you have found your body confidence. That guy you went on a date with sounds awful, you’re better off without someone like that!

    March 27, 2017 at 7:46 pm
  • Reply Louise O'Brien

    Love this all of what you say is true. I have been a size 16 for a long time and a 14 when I was younger. It’s not worried me about my size it’s more other people. I feel there is such a culture of girls needing to be super skinny these days it puts more pressure on. I am so glad you are doing more confidence things to help you X keep up the good work X X

    March 28, 2017 at 12:48 pm
    • Reply Rhian Westbury

      I’ve realised there’s more to life to being skinny. As long as you’re healthy and happy that’s the main thing x

      March 28, 2017 at 2:39 pm
  • Reply Meenal Ranka

    The guy sounds like an idiot. Its good that you have found your body confidence.

    March 28, 2017 at 2:07 pm
  • Reply Joanna

    Some people are so stupid by judging a person only by their size. We all have our struggles, we all hate things about each other and we all struggle to accept the way we are. It’s simply cruel for others to judge on appearance.

    March 28, 2017 at 2:52 pm
  • Reply Shannon Ritchie

    I’m so sorry about what that guy said to you on your date, what an awful person! I really don’t understand how someone can be judged on size, all sizes are beautiful! I’m happy for you that you have found your body confidence!

    March 28, 2017 at 4:02 pm
  • Reply Anna Nuttall

    What a crap bag, this guy is. I’ve been judge by people on how short I am (I’m 4ft10 btw). Good on you for finding your body confidence. xx

    March 28, 2017 at 6:18 pm
  • Reply Tanya Brannan

    Whoohoo!!! Well done honey, isn’t it amazing when you throw away those numbers! And the right partner and sexy lingerie are always great! Xx

    March 29, 2017 at 12:44 pm
  • Reply Agata @BarkTime

    I simply don’t care what other think. I like myself and I am rather happy with my body. Is it perfect, no! nowhere near of perfection but it is me and one have to love himself in order to be happy and love others.

    March 29, 2017 at 7:01 pm
  • Reply ThatgirlSue

    Awesome well done you! I’m forever trying to improve my confidence

    March 30, 2017 at 10:47 am
  • Reply fashion-mommy

    I’m glad you are feeling more confident, you’re right, ignore the labels, life is about more than numbers on label.x

    March 30, 2017 at 11:39 am
  • Reply Laura

    LOVE THIS POST! Great to see you come out of the other side of having a body confidence wobble and actually realise that you can rock clothes at any side. xxx

    March 30, 2017 at 8:52 pm
  • Reply Candice Nikeia

    i stay true to myself in all situations – great read

    March 31, 2017 at 5:28 am
  • Reply Charli B

    I love this post! I used to feel quite the same about my weight and size but now I have come into my own and decided I just wanted to be happy how I am xx

    April 7, 2017 at 5:29 pm
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