Mistakes I Didn’t Know I Was Making On Dating Websites

I was never a fan of online dating, the sheer number of sites and the abundance of creeps on there makes it hard to find someone genuine. I went through years’ of dipping in and out of the online dating world until six months’ ago when I finally found one diamond among the turds enveloping the internet. That isn’t to say all guys on there are idiots but everyone’s after different things eh?! I took the time on all the dating sites I used (and I tried a lot of them) to craft the perfect profile showing myself off as a person and to give the right impression, or so I thought. Talking to my other half it turns out that he actually looked at my profile but chose not to message me and it was, in fact, me messaging him that led to us meeting and getting together. We’ve had conversations about this before but it turns out there were some mistakes I was making that I didn’t even know about.

Wanting someone who has goals and aspirations

On OkCupid you answer a bunch of questions and I had put that I wanted to find someone who had goals and aspirations, you know not your Homer Simpson type character who sits on the sofa all the time and doesn’t do anything. I don’t have a ten-year plan but I have a rough idea in my life what I’d like to achieve/ do but a lot of guys don’t realize they’re like this and may see this as you wanting someone who isn’t like them. My other half said when he saw this that he didn’t think he’d be the right guy for me but this turned out to be the opposite. A lot of guys think that if they don’t have a year by year account or a contingency plan for their career that they don’t has aspirations but this isn’t true.

Not having a completely up to date photo

While I didn’t look that different from my main dating profile photo it was admittedly over a year old. My other half said that when we first met he didn’t think I looked exactly like I did in my photos, fortunately for me this wasn’t a negative but it really made me think how good a dating profile photo is. The photos that my other half had on his profile were nice but I don’t think showed off all the great things about him so it’s so important to choose the right up-to-date photo.

Looking for someone with a career

I didn’t put it down word for word that I wanted someone with a career per say but answers to questions lead to this impression. I meant more that I didn’t want to meet someone who was still in education or working part time in a supermarket/ pub. I’ve been in relationships before where I earnt a lot more money than my other half and while I’m generous and don’t mind spending money I wanted someone on a more even keel, someone who I could do fun things with because they could support themselves. Despite being an electrician (a proper career) my other half didn’t feel that this then applied to him, it’s one of those things where when you look at your own life you don’t realize how together and sorted you have it and it’s only when others look in that you see differently.

Not messaging enough guys

Yes it’s always awesome having someone message you and I was never worried about making the first move dropping a guy a message but I didn’t do it as much as I could have. Sometimes I’d look at someone’s profile think that they looked nice but just because I couldn’t find the exact right words for the perfect first message I chickened out. Having spoken to my other half he said how nice it was for me to actually message him because apparently for guys this pretty much never happens. Think how great you feel when someone genuinely interesting/ nice messages you, you can make someone else feel like that.

What are your thoughts on online dating?
April 21, 2017
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26 Comments

  • Reply Foteini♥♍

    I can totally relate xD I dont use dating services anymore, all my dates turned out to be crap xD

    April 21, 2017 at 3:43 pm
  • Reply Alison Rost

    Oh dear .. yes I remember the perils of online dating. I wasn’t cut out for it .. that’s for sure. I remember once Dr Laura said the best way to meet men was to ask a friend for an introduction to someone they know of. That way you’re certain they are (semi) vetted by someone you know

    April 22, 2017 at 12:21 am
  • Reply Kirsten Heath Mua

    One mistake I definitely made was not talking to them over the phone before a date. You’d be surprised how different someone could be when they dont have time to think about what they’re going to say first.

    April 22, 2017 at 12:45 am
  • Reply Sabrina Barbante

    the online dating is world completely unknown to me. I have friends who have found the true love of their lives this way and now live happy together so maybe that both online and outline we make mistakes and sometimes we need…luck (love takes a looqooooot of luck)

    April 22, 2017 at 7:01 am
  • Reply Georgiana Quaint

    I really admire people who are courageous enough to go into online dating. It was interesting to hear stories from the dates that were iniciated on online dating sites from my coleague.

    April 22, 2017 at 9:58 am
  • Reply faithey

    I never tried online dating and don’t want to do that! because I feel like we’re dating an imaginary person that don’t exists.
    ps. love your blog design.

    April 22, 2017 at 1:04 pm
  • Reply David Elliott

    I have certainly had a few experiences over the years with online dating. Its a lot of craziness really. But as a guy I agree that it’s nice to have women who message back. Seriously for every 100 messages out there that we put, we are doing well if we get back 5. I know that many of those messages are really to spambots so it doesn’t count. But we don’t know that when we send them out. And if it’s really good we get 10. So messaging back is a good feeling.

    April 22, 2017 at 3:36 pm
  • Reply Chelsea Coulter

    Luckily I’m not in the dating game anymore but it was interesting to read! You certainly have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince.

    Chelsea

    April 22, 2017 at 4:27 pm
  • Reply Karate and Caviar

    I never had to try online dating but I think it’s actually a good way to screen and do some due diligence before you meet up. I mean what’s the chance that the guy you meet in that bar at night doesn’t turn out to be a frog?! There are frogs everywhere haha

    April 23, 2017 at 1:22 pm
  • Reply Ana De Jesus

    This is actually quite relevant to me right now and I think I am making a few of these mistakes at the moment. The one about ‘goals and aspirations’ definitely applies as I always look for someone that appears to be as ambitious as me but like you said its a mistake that we often make x

    April 23, 2017 at 7:09 pm
  • Reply Harriet @ Toby&Roo

    I’ve never used a dating website before, it sounds like a bit of a minefield!

    April 24, 2017 at 9:03 am
  • Reply Elizabeth Allcock

    I met my partner of over 2 years on tinder, so I would advise people to give it a go!

    April 24, 2017 at 11:50 am
  • Reply Newcastle Family Life

    I was on dating sites in my early twenties and found them a bit brutal, I only met a few people for dates but they were all disasters. My best friend married someone she met on a dating site though x

    April 24, 2017 at 1:25 pm
  • Reply Melanie Edjourian

    I haven’t used a dating site before but a friend of mine has and she can’t find a decent guy they all seem to be after one thing.

    April 24, 2017 at 1:39 pm
  • Reply Madeeha

    I never went through this experience so I can’t relate. But I can understand that meeting people online is like a gamble. You can’t tell what will you get.

    April 24, 2017 at 9:39 pm
  • Reply Musings of a tired mummy...zzz

    I found my partner on a dating website , happy ending 🙂

    April 25, 2017 at 11:15 am
  • Reply Jennifer Eastwell

    I found my partner on match.com we have been together for almost 4 years and we have just bought a house together!

    April 25, 2017 at 6:16 pm
  • Reply Agata @BarkTime

    I’ve never tried it myself so I don’t really have any strong opinion about it to be honest but I would have no objection of using it if needed.

    April 26, 2017 at 9:34 am
  • Reply Jayne

    I haven’t used an online dating site before, to be truthful, I’d be scared shitless to! Saying that though, a friend of mine met her ‘husband to be’ on a dating site, so they can bring a happy ending 🙂 x

    April 26, 2017 at 3:57 pm
  • Reply Battle Mum (BattleMum)

    I have to admit I have never used online dating but in a way did with my hubby. We met online in a chat room 17 years ago and chatted for 2 months before we met face to face. I do know what you mean about up to date photos. I’d posted (remember those days) a picture to my hubby and I looked nothing like it when we met!

    April 26, 2017 at 5:25 pm
  • Reply Cathryn Daws

    I never used online dating but I think it’s great for people who want too. Up to date photos are a must!

    April 27, 2017 at 9:00 am
  • Reply Lubka Henry

    I’ve never been on a dating website tbh, so I’ve never thought about this. I guess just like everything else, your profile needs to be up to date.

    April 27, 2017 at 11:51 am
  • Reply MyBoysClub Blog

    I’ve never used on lone dating but have got friends who have been successful. Great tips for people though x

    April 27, 2017 at 1:52 pm
  • Reply Lisa (Travel Loving Family)

    The up to date pic I think is definitely important. Helps to find the right person at the meeting place too;)

    April 27, 2017 at 7:24 pm
  • Reply Ickle Pickle

    Oh I gave up! So many strange people and so many fakes on the ones I tried. Kaz

    April 27, 2017 at 8:00 pm
  • Reply Hello Beautiful Bear

    I’ve never done online dating but it sounds like a minefield! I’m glad you’ve found somebody you’re happy with though 🙂 x

    April 27, 2017 at 9:20 pm
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