I was never a fan of online dating, the sheer number of sites and the abundance of creeps on there makes it hard to find someone genuine. I went through years’ of dipping in and out of the online dating world until six months’ ago when I finally found one diamond among the turds enveloping the internet. That isn’t to say all guys on there are idiots but everyone’s after different things eh?! I took the time on all the dating sites I used (and I tried a lot of them) to craft the perfect profile showing myself off as a person and to give the right impression, or so I thought. Talking to my other half it turns out that he actually looked at my profile but chose not to message me and it was, in fact, me messaging him that led to us meeting and getting together. We’ve had conversations about this before but it turns out there were some mistakes I was making that I didn’t even know about.
Wanting someone who has goals and aspirations
On OkCupid you answer a bunch of questions and I had put that I wanted to find someone who had goals and aspirations, you know not your Homer Simpson type character who sits on the sofa all the time and doesn’t do anything. I don’t have a ten-year plan but I have a rough idea in my life what I’d like to achieve/ do but a lot of guys don’t realize they’re like this and may see this as you wanting someone who isn’t like them. My other half said when he saw this that he didn’t think he’d be the right guy for me but this turned out to be the opposite. A lot of guys think that if they don’t have a year by year account or a contingency plan for their career that they don’t has aspirations but this isn’t true.
Not having a completely up to date photo
While I didn’t look that different from my main dating profile photo it was admittedly over a year old. My other half said that when we first met he didn’t think I looked exactly like I did in my photos, fortunately for me this wasn’t a negative but it really made me think how good a dating profile photo is. The photos that my other half had on his profile were nice but I don’t think showed off all the great things about him so it’s so important to choose the right up-to-date photo.
Looking for someone with a career
I didn’t put it down word for word that I wanted someone with a career per say but answers to questions lead to this impression. I meant more that I didn’t want to meet someone who was still in education or working part time in a supermarket/ pub. I’ve been in relationships before where I earnt a lot more money than my other half and while I’m generous and don’t mind spending money I wanted someone on a more even keel, someone who I could do fun things with because they could support themselves. Despite being an electrician (a proper career) my other half didn’t feel that this then applied to him, it’s one of those things where when you look at your own life you don’t realize how together and sorted you have it and it’s only when others look in that you see differently.
Not messaging enough guys
Yes it’s always awesome having someone message you and I was never worried about making the first move dropping a guy a message but I didn’t do it as much as I could have. Sometimes I’d look at someone’s profile think that they looked nice but just because I couldn’t find the exact right words for the perfect first message I chickened out. Having spoken to my other half he said how nice it was for me to actually message him because apparently for guys this pretty much never happens. Think how great you feel when someone genuinely interesting/ nice messages you, you can make someone else feel like that.
What are your thoughts on online dating?