I’m going to start this post off by saying that by means am I a relationship expert and there’s so much I probably don’t know. Before last October/ November, I didn’t really know what a relationship entailed, I had this romantic notion in my mind but other than a longish relationship when I was 19 and then a month or so here and then I had been a single pringle my whole life. I’m very much a believer in fate and perseverance and I truly believe that played a big part in how my life now is. Here are some of the things I’ve learnt being in a relationship:
You shouldn’t miss your friends
I know so many people who get into relationships then stop seeing their friends, stop going away for weekend’s with their buddies and it makes me so sad. If you’re in a happy relationship you shouldn’t feel like you have to spend all your time together so seeing your friends shouldn’t be a huge change. Knowing how to balance your life is perfect and being in a relationship should only make your life better and not take away other aspects of your life.
Being completely comfortable with someone can happen
I am still an overly self-conscious person but since being in a relationship I’ve started to feel more comfortable than I have ever been. I’m perfectly comfortable having no makeup on and while I’m not my bodies biggest fan I don’t feel uncomfortable being naked. When you’re with the right person comfort is a huge deal, I don’t need to worry about whether I look a bit rough because I know that person’s there for me no matter what.
Staying in can be as much of a plan as going out
At the beginning during the ‘dating’ phase we went out a lot, dinners, and movies, and other things but now we like to do a mixture and sometimes go out and do things but other times stay in to cook and watch a movie. I was never a fan of staying in and would usually just push to try and make plans but now staying in feels as much like a plan as going out does. It’s all about the company and not as much about what you do.
When you’re with the right person things feel easy
I now realize that previous relationships I had weren’t the best as I’d always be feeling like I was putting in more effort, or worried about things, or overthinking things he’d done or said, but when you’re with the right person things can seem so easy. I know some couples argue which is perfectly natural but relationships shouldn’t feel like a chore, they should be a healthy extension of yourself.
The pace of a relationship varies from couple to couple
Everyone is different so what feels normal and right for one couple might be totally different from another taking into account circumstances and the people themselves so don’t compare yourselves. If you see your friend moving in with her partner after nine month’s that doesn’t mean if you’re not living with your other half after the same time that your relationship is any worse. Do what feels natural for you. After about four month’s I gave my other half a key to my flat as it made sense due to when he finished work and him leaving early and this felt right for us but it doesn’t mean it would be the same for everyone else.
What’s your best piece of relationship advice?