Five Things I’ve Learnt About Being In A Relationship
I’m going to start this post off by saying that by means am I a relationship expert and there’s so much I probably don’t know. Before last October/ November, I didn’t really know what a relationship entailed, I had this romantic notion in my mind but other than a longish relationship when I was 19 and then a month or so here and then I had been a single pringle my whole life. I’m very much a believer in fate and perseverance and I truly believe that played a big part in how my life now is. Here are some of the things I’ve learnt being in a relationship:
You shouldn’t miss your friends
I know so many people who get into relationships then stop seeing their friends, stop going away for weekend’s with their buddies and it makes me so sad. If you’re in a happy relationship you shouldn’t feel like you have to spend all your time together so seeing your friends shouldn’t be a huge change. Knowing how to balance your life is perfect and being in a relationship should only make your life better and not take away other aspects of your life.
Being completely comfortable with someone can happen
I am still an overly self-conscious person but since being in a relationship I’ve started to feel more comfortable than I have ever been. I’m perfectly comfortable having no makeup on and while I’m not my bodies biggest fan I don’t feel uncomfortable being naked. When you’re with the right person comfort is a huge deal, I don’t need to worry about whether I look a bit rough because I know that person’s there for me no matter what.
Staying in can be as much of a plan as going out
At the beginning during the ‘dating’ phase we went out a lot, dinners, and movies, and other things but now we like to do a mixture and sometimes go out and do things but other times stay in to cook and watch a movie. I was never a fan of staying in and would usually just push to try and make plans but now staying in feels as much like a plan as going out does. It’s all about the company and not as much about what you do.
When you’re with the right person things feel easy
I now realize that previous relationships I had weren’t the best as I’d always be feeling like I was putting in more effort, or worried about things, or overthinking things he’d done or said, but when you’re with the right person things can seem so easy. I know some couples argue which is perfectly natural but relationships shouldn’t feel like a chore, they should be a healthy extension of yourself.
The pace of a relationship varies from couple to couple
Everyone is different so what feels normal and right for one couple might be totally different from another taking into account circumstances and the people themselves so don’t compare yourselves. If you see your friend moving in with her partner after nine month’s that doesn’t mean if you’re not living with your other half after the same time that your relationship is any worse. Do what feels natural for you. After about four month’s I gave my other half a key to my flat as it made sense due to when he finished work and him leaving early and this felt right for us but it doesn’t mean it would be the same for everyone else.
What’s your best piece of relationship advice?
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23 responses to “Five Things I’ve Learnt About Being In A Relationship”
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All About Me
Rhian Westbury
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I am an old married lady now, but I have always enjoyed just staying in. I am a homebody by nature and I love being home as much as possible.
I would definitely agree that when you’re with the right person things feel easy (most of the time). I think supporting and being there for each other is also really important too.
We don’t go out a lot and we are ok with that most of the time. I think when you meet that right person it doesn’t matter where you are, if you are together.
The best relationship advice I was given was “people change – so change together”. Tolerance is important too. It’s nice to read this positive story.
My piece of advice is that communication is key. KEY. If you are not communicating well, get help.
Communication is really big and I honestly don’t think relationships work if people grow at different speeds and not at the same time. being patience is also important.
Great post and I can relate to quite a few of your points. I’m not sure if I have any groundbreaking pieces of advice but my biggest thing is being with someone who you actually like and want to hang out with! I see so many couples who seem to live completely seperate lives and hardly see each other which is not what I was ever after.
I think being honest is huge, along with communication! That is the only way it will work!
I agree with you completely. When you’re with the right person, nothing’s ever complicate unless you make it so. And you’ll feel comfortable with the person no matter what. This is really beautiful.
Completely agree with all of this, especially your first point about spending time with friends. It’s sad how many friends I’ve lost touch with once they get into a relationship
This is such a good summary. Especially bit about not missing your friends. So many women completely give up on their friendships when they have serious relationship. I remember it happening a lot with a couple of my friends during university, and it felt like such a slap in the face. I try to teach my daughter that friends are just as important as boyfriends.
It always bothered me when friends would fall off the face of the earth when they got into relationships. My husband and I both make time to spend with our friends. Time apart can be just as important as time together.
I remember how natural it felt when I met my husband. It felt like I’d known him forever – like nothing was uncomfortable with him.
I didn’t realize just how comfortable you could be with someone until I found my husband. It is So great when you are with the right person.
Relationships are work but they shouldn’t be such a struggle if you are with the right person. I’ve also learned that being with the right person means wanting to be a better person.
I think too many people get caught up in the physical, but let me tell you, that changes after 25 years together! Thankfully married to my best friend!
Isn’t it amazing to find a person to spend the rest of your life and not feel pressured at all to make things magical everyday. It just feels right and it doesn’t feel like you’re limited or unable to move. The right partner also supports you in everything you do!
It’s so true that relationships feel easier when you’re with the right person. While even those relationships are never “perfect”, there’s a significant difference than being around someone you’re uncomfortable with.
Every relationship is different so it’s hard to feel like you’re doing it right when you know your relationship is not the same as friends. I’ve been married for 11 years and while there are the highs and lows, it’s the consistency that’s important.
I agree with everything you said. I’ve been married for 10 years and it happened for me to go to see friends while he was at home working and the other way around too. I also think that the pace is different. After Uni, when most of my colleagues were getting married, we were just moving in together.
So true – very good article. You two are such a sweet couple!
Feeling comfortable with somebody is just the best feeling 🙂
If you aren’t happy and are making the other person unhappy then the relationship isn’t working. Trust and honesty are essential but love is the most important.