How Money Impacts Relationships
When I initially think of the notion of money I’d like to think that I’m not materialistic or care about how much money someone makes when it comes to choosing a partner, but in reality that isn’t quite the case. When I was looking for a partner I knew I wanted someone who was in a proper job/ career and out of education, someone who could support themselves and afford to do things with me like going on holiday, to gigs and out for food.
It semes I’m not the only one as Shepherds friendly conducted a survey alongside psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman to find out the power that money can hold on relationships. 36.1% of women agreed that “Money plays a part in how attractive you find a partner” and thinking about what I was looking for from a partner I have to say that I would agree with this. In the future I know I’d want to buy a house with a partner so having a job which provides a good source of income is important for this and something which could have been a deal breaker. Thankfully Luke has a good job meaning that our dreams of buying a house don’t have to stay a dream.
The whole date night pay dilemna is also an interesting one. I know it’s not deemed very feminist to allow a guy to play for dinner and I would never expect it but if someone offers to pay I am more than happy to accept, especially when in my mind I think there’s going to be a second date as I’d then insist on paying. Luke offered to pay during our first date and I let him and then when we had our second date I paid for that. According to the survey 68.3% of men believe that they should pay on a date night although over three quarters of women between 18 and 29 feel that the bill should be split which shows how much less traditional women are now about dating.
It seems that most people are quite open about how much they earn with their partners with just 13.3% of women agreeing that “Saleries are personal information and not to be shared with partners”. I know that both me and Luke have always been quite open with how much we earn and our expenses and being this honest with one another has meant we can work out our finances and know what’s feesible when it comes to spending to go out. Going forward it means we can work on anything which could negatively affect our credit scores to ensure we get the best deals when it comes to applying for a joint mortgage.
Find out more about how money impacts relationships by checking out the survey here.
Do you think that money can affect a relationship?
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16 responses to “How Money Impacts Relationships”
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Rhian Westbury
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I’m a big believer in working together to not argue about money. Its so hard though, people say money doesn’t make you happy but it does make life a hell of a lot easier when you know how your bills are going to be paid by the end of the month! xxx
I totally agree with you, it’s definitely about working together x
Money can be the root of all arguments if you let it. Ive seen friends of mine massively fall out over a bill which has been equally divided to make it much fairer x
I think if you live together than financial information should definitely be shared. If just dating, then no I wouldn’t share how much I earn as I’m paying my own way and have no shared bills etc.
I think finances are one of those things that you need to be honest about once in a committed relationship otherwise it will cause problems long-term.
I think honesty with finances is important and it can lead to so much more anguish if not.
At one point I was nearly earning more than my husband. He made sure he got a pay rise quickly! And since we’ve had children he has always earnt more than me. We share what we are spending money on and don’t make big purchases without consulting the other one.
I think it’s so sensible to discuss big purchases x
Yes, I think it is one of those things where we’d want to say no but realistically if you are in different financial stages of your lives, it gets complex. Mich x
I definitely think it does. I don’t expect someone to pay for things for me, I pay for myself, but I had an ex who, when I suggested a holiday, let me pay for him and said he’d cover spending money. He didn’t cover spending money and I also had to buy him clothes as he didn’t own any shorts etc. I couldn’t be with someone again who cant manage their money!
I think this is an interesting point. I never thought much about finances when it comes to choosing a partner but I guess the older you get the more your priorities change; you start looking for someone you can create a future with, I’m not there quite yet and still don’t give much thought to this currently though.
You are so right, money is so important in a relationship and many couples still argue over this and marriages do break due to money. Its a fact but something which no one likes to admit …that money does make the world go around.
Money is an important one for couples. It is here at all times: going out, later on buying a house, having children. that is what I love about my partner. He is never scared to spend money for us to have memory. I used to be more careful and actually a bit stingy because the way I was raised but now I know when spending and making the most of it!
Money is, of course, a huge part in relationships as well as friendships and family life. If you’re an adventurous type who wants to go on rock climbing holidays, or you have expensive hobbies like Canicross where travel and gear is essential, then your partner needs to be interested in those things and be able to keep up with you too. Besides, regardless of hobbies, date nights, festivals etc, there may be a time in your relationship where you want to move in together, get married or get a mortgage. You can’t do any of these things if you’re hanging around waiting for your partner to take responsibility for his or her earnings. It isn’t the bee all and end all of life, but relationships are about enjoying your time together and if you can’t afford to go and do anything, you won’t be having as much fun as you could be.
Money is a huge part of a relationship and I definetly think it can causes problems when people are in financial stress
My partner and I know all of each other’s incomes. We have a mortgage together but we don’t have a joint account and we don’t dictate who spends what. I’m on maternity leave at the moment so money can be the root of some of our disagreements but that is life! x
We have always been open and honest about our money situation and I’m sure that’s why we are in a fortunate position now. It allows you to plan and make the most of your future together. I couldn’t be with someone that’s not open x