Making Friends As An Adult

If you have a look through your Facebook friends or social media followers it might feel like you’re connected to a lot of people. But how many of those people are your friends? Probably not that many. There will be the people you want to school with but haven’t spoken to in a decade. Or those who you meet on a drunken night out in university but don’t even remember when or where. There will also be people who you follow but don’t know personally. The list goes on. You’ve probably added far fewer ‘friends’ on Facebook in the past 5 years than you did in a year of being a teen/ young adult. And that’s because making friends as an adult is pretty tough!

One of the great things about friends is being able to share both the highs and lows with them. Having a friendly ear that you can vent into, or someone to share great news with. But many adults are keeping their thoughts and feelings hidden as they don’t feel like they have people to share them with.

Education is a key time to make friends and a pretty easy way to make friends (for most people). Think how many people you’d organically speak to at school/ college/ university compared to your adult life. As you get into a routine of working and getting older your social circle tends to shrink. It may shrink more if you get into a relationship. Or it may shrink more if you have kids and your priorities change.

The 18 months may have meant you’ve lost contact with friends you used to see regularly. Or your options for making friends as an adult are heavily reduced. Here are some tips and ways to help.

Make the time for making friends as an adult

Life is already pretty busy for us with work and any other responsibilities you have as an adult. But like any relationship you need to make time for friendships. If you don’t devote time to making and developing friendships then your circle of friends will remain small.

Think about the time you have and what you can do to be social at the same time. Is there something you can move in your week to allow you to join a club or group? Can you call an old friend whilst on a walk? You may need to remind yourself to engage with people and make plans. As an adult, life is busy and time disappears, so scheduling time to meet friends and nurture the relationships you do have is so important. It’s also incredibly important to have a life and outlets for your energy outside of work and the people you live with.

Use some of the apps available

Just like the apps you use to find a romantic partner, there are apps to find friends. I’ve used Bumble BFF and Patook before, and I actually met one of my best friends on Patook about 2 years ago.

Just like a dating site you create a profile, add images, create a bio about yourself/ your interests/ what you’re looking for and some have compatibility questions as well. Then you can browse and see the people out there depending on what you’re looking for. Are you looking for a new friend who lives super local to go on walks and coffee stops with? Limit your search distance. Are you looking for someone who has loads of similar interests even if they’re only an online friend? Look for common interests and loves.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to apps. Making friends as an adult is hard, and everything else is online now so why not search for new friends too?

Making friends as an adult at a group or club

A way of forging adult friendships is to find a common interest or activity. Having other friends who enjoy something you love will help provide you with a way to spend time with like-minded people engaging in a fun activity. This might be something crafty like scrapbooking, sporty like tennis or golf, or a common love like Disney movies, coin collecting, or reading.

Search around online and look for activities, clubs, or groups that interest you. It might be a book club at your local library, a sports team, or a crafting session at a local art studio. It might feel intimidating the first time you go but you’ll be around people who clearly enjoy or are interested in the same things as you. So it should be easier to strike up a conversation. Or if you’re feeling really unsure look around online and see if you can find people already going to the event/ group and say hi beforehand if this feels less scary.

How have you been making friends as an adult?