Even just in the last ten years the idea of dating has changed so much that people I know who have come out of long-term relationships no longer feel that they know how to date. In the early to mid noughties, hell even the late ones if you told your friends you were on a dating website you’d probably be met with concerned and shocked faces, it wasn’t the ‘done’ thing and people assumed these sites were there for creepy older men who had odd fetishes or those people who have been left on the shelf so long that they were desperate. Now i’d be surprised if a single person wasn’t on some sort of dating site (or app) with thousands popping up on a weekly basis.
I am a complete workaholic and have a very close knit of friends and family which means that I don’t have a lot of spare time, so online dating can be a great option when you’re looking to find someone to meet up with. Personally I like to talk to someone for long enough online to know that it’s worth going on a date with them, for example that we have similar interests and there would be enough to talk about for a few hours over drinks. Even a date for me is quite a commitment and I don’t want to be left feeling like I’ve wasted my night which is why I struggle to understand how being completely ignored after a date is acceptable. A few times now I’ve been on dates which have gone well (some more on a friends level and others potentially more) to then be left weeks later being completely shunned by the guy in question. Have people’s values and ideas about dating changed?
Recently an article was published talking about some findings that My Voucher Codes had found after a survey they conducted, and they found that 52% of men didn’t think that traditional values of courtship between couples still applied, surprisingly though 58% of women didn’t think the values still applied. What I’d like to know is what are considered these traditional values? Although I wouldn’t class myself as a feminist at all I would always offer to split the bill if we went out for dinner and I’d always offer to buy him a drink if I was getting one, if he then says he will get it then go for it. The findings showed that 35% of men felt that the price of meals should be shared 50/50 which I think is a fair statement but it was the next bit of data which concerned me.
57% of men- and a whopping 71% of women- didn’t feel the need to call the day after the date. Now I’m not specifying a call but is it just me who thinks it’s right to send a quick message the next day even if it’s a quick ‘Had a great time it was nice meeting you’. I’m not expecting a guy to start declaring his love for me and asking me out again but a recognition that they felt I was worth spending an evening on is enough for me. Maybe I’m asking for too much and a few seconds on a message is just too much to ask for but I think it’s only right.
While some of the results are unsurprising and something which I’ll happily admit to such as 33% of men and women admit to looking up their date online beforehand and 29% of men and women are happy to arrange a date via social media rather than calling, I still think that technology is to blame for our blahzay attitude around the opposite sex, and women are just as much to blame as men.
Dating almost feels like another job now with forms to fill out on numerous dating websites, conversations to keep flowing and finding time in my busy schedule to organise meeting people and sometimes I just think is it worth it? But seeing friends and other people I know getting engaged/ married/ pregnant/ buying houses together I wonder how my life would be different if I’d met that special someone. Maybe my standards are too high, or maybe I want too much who knows.