How I Feel About Dressing When I’m Not Body Confident

I’ve struggled pretty much my entire life with my image and ultimately my weight. It’s something which has plagued every part of my teenage and adult life since I realised that I was generally larger than most of the people around me. About five years ago I managed to get down to the smallest I’ve ever been – what’s considered a general ‘norm’ for a lot of people – but sadly my love of chocolate and baked goods meant that I put it all back on (and more!)

I love reading stuff from ‘plus size’ bloggers and influencers who talk about how they’re body confident and have come to terms or are even happy with the way they look. That fills me with so much happiness that not everyone feels like me crushed every time they look into the mirror. I know there’s only me who can do anything about that as I need to change my attitude and accept myself, or I need to get the motivation to get off my arse and do something about it. But both of those options rely on the right mindset and I have neither at the moment.

Even now as I add these images in I cringe looking at my belly in the full length shot, but I didn’t want to leave it out. The more I see myself and the more I’m forced with the reality, the more I’m hoping I’ll accept that for the moment this is how I look and this is what my body is like. And it seems like I am not alone as a survey done by Lighter Life said that 28% of British women are really unhappy or even disgusted by their bodies, and only 30% of women were actually happy with their bodies. Now I know everyone has their hangups but those figures are shocking.

Choosing clothes can be tough and I find that I don’t go into a lot of physical shops because although a lot of high street brands do great curve/ plus size ranges like New Look, River Island and Forever 21 to name a few, there’s little to no coverage in store. For most it’s a physical space situation and larger people are probably just used to not being catered for in store so turn to looking online which is what I tend to do.

Fashion World is a company I’ve been familiar with for a long time as my mum used to order clothes from them a lot when I was a kid, and in my early twenties they’re a brand I probably wouldn’t have looked twice at, but now I’m at a point where if I like the look of an item, it fits and I don’t hate myself in it I don’t mind where it comes from. Fashion World has so much choice regardless of your size or shape, but they’re definitely not just restricted to the type of clothing that I would associate with my mum.

I picked up my very first pair of straight leg jeans from Fashion World, mainly because they have a stunning black and sequin edging to them and I wore them to death over Christmas as they had that extra bit of sparkle I wanted for the festive season but weren’t restrictive. I’ve lived in skinny jeans for about the past 12 years as I always thought they were the most flattering on me, but a change was just what I needed and these jeans served that purpose. As they’re straight leg I can finally tuck the tops of boots under my jeans and pull them off at the end of the day with ease.

The other item I picked up from Fashion World is a regular staple which is a black knitted cardigan. It probably wasn’t the most exciting item to ever arrive through the posts but it’s something I’ve desperately needed for a few months as all of my jackets are either too thin or patterned/ coloured. To think that I didn’t own a basic black knitted cardigan considering how much time I spend in black was pretty bad.

I’m still on the hunt for more clothes that don’t make me hate my appearance, or that give me an ounce of confidence and it’s going to be a long journey but one I’m hoping will have a great destination.

Sadie Embellished Side Slim Leg Jeans* – Fashion World – £39 (Currently on sale for £17.55!)
Black Drop Shoulder Cardigan* – Fashion World – £18
Khaki Living My Best Life Top- New Look – Out of stock
Longline Denim Jacket – V By Very Curve  – £50
Circle Quilted Leather Shoulder Bag – Ted Baker – £229
Vans Classic Old School Black And White Trainers – ASOS – £70

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